The Drunken Prequels: Episode Two: Attack of the Clones

God help me, here we go...

Well, that opening score just never gets old, does it?

I like the title. Campy in a similar fashion to ESB. Unfortunately, it doesn't actually make a lot of sense for the movie, does it?

A pan up. Nice.

Not showing Padme's face right away is too obvious.

I like the foggy setting as they land. Good, ominous tone.

She's only a senator now. Why does she need a decoy?

Already the red, Imperial guards? A bit soon for my taste, but they look so awesome that I'll allow it.

You're a Jedi, Yoda. Why are there any warm feelings in your distant, mutant heart?

Sam Jackson is a great actor... yet he can't deliver a single line well in these films. Lack of imagination or is the direction just that bad? My bet is on the latter.

Hayden really isn't that bad... but the writing really is.

Ugh, stop saying Ani.

To be fair, she IS fucking beautiful. Anakin has needs.

Zem's speeder design is awesome. I have imagine myself in something similar many times.

Covered the cameras. And then R2 turns off. This is absurd. Who would have fucking thought they'd try the giant window?

I like the exchange between Anakin and Obi about dreams. Seems almost genuine.

Bugs for murder? You're already at the window, dude. Just throw a fucking thermal detonator in there.

You're a DROID R2, you don't need to sleep. Lazy bitch.

Anakin is really that poor a judge of character?

I know it doesn't make sense that Obi jumps out of the window... but this sequence is fun enough that I get over it. Makes me think of a Grand Theft Auto: Coruscant game. I really enjoy this whole sequence. Anakin's jump out of the speeder is the single event in the whole prequel trilogy that makes him seem cool.

"That was short." Then why include it, George?

I'm not sure why Anakin sticks his lightsaber into the cockpit. Must have a deathwish. Fucking emo teenagers, man.

A girl in a thong. In Star Wars. I mean, it is the underbelly, nightclub world of Coruscant, so hey, who knows what those chicks wear.

A changling, eh? Like Tommy in Rugrats? Kudos to anyone who gets that.

Will he really go home and think his life? Maybe he'll just get home and realize he's fucked for not having sold enough deathsticks that night. He won't be able to pay rent and will end up dead. Great message, George.

Hey guys, maybe follow that dude with the jetpack. Maybe he knows something.

Right, send the hormonely charged teenager with the hotty senator to a remote location. You Jedi are not great judges of character.

His abilities have made him arrogant? How about you SHOW us some of that instead of just claiming it's there.

Sloppy writing. Jar Jar a senator?

Whine about your life. Bitches love whining.

Yes, then give her the rapey eyes. Bitches love rapey eyes.

Another situation where I wish I could read R2's mind. I'm pretty sure they sent him (it?) as the actual protection. R2 doesn't fuck around.

Fuck yeah Jawa Juice (SHOT!)

Jango doesn't seem terribly smart to use weapons from the secret planet he's stationed on.

Poor CG on Dex, but the voice acting isn't too bad.

Jedi Library. It isn't all just stored on a thumb drive? Huh.

Decent acting from Hayden in this scene. Well, until the shit about dreaming about Padme. Though, to be fair, I doubt Jedi get a lot of practice with the ladies.

Kids with lightsabers. Yeah, that seems like a great idea. Also, Plinket nailed this one. Obi improved this blind exercise in ANH, but suddenly they use it as an official training. Lame.

The stars pull towards it? Fuck off. Stars are not that close together. Gravity wouldn't mean jack shit.

YT-1300 freighters on Naboo. I'll allow it.

They don't have rolling suitcases in this universe?

Jedi Starfighter, you so sexy. Early A-Wing. Mmmmm.

Ocean planet... actually, that one makes sense. The one planet I wouldn't want to live on, but a cool idea.

This planet reeks of A.I.

Not sure why Obi fakes it here. Why wouldn't he just ask honest questions? These guys don't seem to be in on some insidious (heh) scheme, so they would likely answer the questions of a Jedi.

Oh, this lovely "sand" speech. 100 dollars to ANY man who manges to woo a woman with this. She has to know know the origin.

As much as I love the "Theed Invasion" piece, it doesn't make a lot of sense for it to be recalled right now. Good set up of "Take any direction without question."

Say, who is training these clones to be soldiers?

No, Padme, the problem is that there are too many people. A senate can't work for thousands of planets.

You know what, I agree Anakin. If a dictator ships works, go for it. Problem is, people suck and a good ruler only comes about once in a thousand years.

Hayden's laughing here is pretty genuine. Doesn't fit the SCENE, but he does seem happy.

Fuck yeah swimming/flying winged whale things. More of those!

Was having Boba Fett really necessary? No. No is the answer.

The Jango guy is a good actor though. If he had just been in the movie, no mention of Boba, it would have been a lot cooler.

Bitches love telekenesis.

Oh god, it's the fireplace scene! SHOT!

They should have just fallen in love without any of the "forbidden" shit. It feels too forced otherwise. Hell, he could have just been smitten and knocked her up. That would be a pretty different galaxy far, far away.

I enjoy the fight with Jango. It doesn't make sense that Obi doesn't use the Force, but it's fun.

Do people really say out loud the things they experience in dreams?

I like the shot of Anakin in the "Vader" pose while meditating. Pretty composition.

I like that Anakin feels he has to go home because he can feel his mother's pain. It is a solid callback (forward?) to Luke's experience on Dagobah. It just needed to be portrayed as honest rather than contrived.

I like that Obi has clearly been trained in hand to hand combat. It's a side of the Jedi we haven't seen before.

Why did you activate your saber, Obi? It's just another effect for the post department.

Oh, yea, Tatooine.

I like how Watto recognized Anakin. It's more subtle than almost everything in the film.

Okay, this chase in the planet ring is awesome Those seismic charges are fucking amazing. Turned it WAY up for those. Sorry neighbors. (Not really.)

Granted, a scene like this should have been Anakin. He is, afterall, the "best pilot", right?

The orb stations/ships on Geonosis remind me a lot of ET's ship. In a good way.

Aaaand we're at the Lars homestead. Feels good. Well, minus 3PO being in some lame silver casing.

It makes me sad that we don't get more interaction between Owen and Anakin. Owen's hatred for Anakin was clear in ANH, and it would have been awesome to see them get to know one another and come to a clear disagreement.

Shit Padme looks fine in these scenes.

Duel of the Fates here? Really? It serves no purpose and fades out too quickly. Shame.

I really like the idea of Obi being a sleuth in these scenes... if only he weren't so bad at it.

A poor introduction to Dooku. This is the man who is supposed to be the replacement for Darth Maul, yet he is not fearsome or intimidating at all. I love Chris Lee, but he worked much better as Saruman.

Good idea for a scene and mostly well shot, but Anakin should have faced a bit more trouble in taking down in the sand people. Well, maybe not trouble, but we should have at least seen more. I would have liked to see him truly rage out. Force powers gone nuts, that kind of thing.

Shmi being delirious is a nice touch. One of the better moments.

Is it really that confusing that Anakin went home, dude? You sent your angst-ridden little Padawan off with his dream girl, and you're surprised he did something crazy? Having dreams about his mom for years, yet when he heads home, you're surprised? Come on, man.

Hayden's performance in the scene is great. His eyes and his posture say a lot. He seems just a bit proud of it, which is nice. Though, Padme's reaction doesn't make a lick of sense. "To be angry is to be human"? Really? Humans murder children when they get angry? They come from a rough neighborhood.

SHOT!

One of the worst parts about this movie is that there really is a semblance of a good movie in here.

Off all the times in this movie, Anakin should have been the one to recommend running off to save Obi. At least that would have lent itself to a "friendship."

People really don't question using a clone army that no one knew about? I get appoving an army, but a clone army that just happens to exist on an uncharted world?

I like the idea of a former Jedi being a character. But not like this. I would prefer it to be more like a Han Solo figure. A rebel with something to prove. Dooku is just a random pawn who has no clear purpose whatsoever.

Dooku telling Obi about a Sith lord is nice. It's a good tactic to tell the truth in a situation like this. This scene is meant to play off of ESB, but there is really no reason for Dooku to be telling Obi this. Does he actually want him to join him? Does Dooku actually hate that he works for the Sith?

FUCK YOU JAR JAR! YOU BURN IN HELL!

This calls back to what I said during TPM. Palpatine takes the powers like Ceasar did. But, as I said, he doesn't in any way earn it. He just comes out of fucking nowhere. His power does not seem scary because we don't really understand it roots. He is too nefarious to be menacing. He's just evil for the sake of being evil rather than appearing to have a real goal.

"I've given up trying to argue with you." What? Are there deleted scened we're missing? It's a funny little "couple moment"... but then, theyve never been a couple.

Oh, awesome, an action scene without ANY merit. This in no way furthers the plot except that, hey, we haven't seen a lightsaber in a while!

Look, we get that 3PO and R2 were the "eyes" of the Ot... but that doesn't mean they had to be in so many scenes in the prequels. It doesn't make sense, and, it actually hurts them as characters. IS NOTHING SACRED, GEORGE!?

Why is his arm stuck? What are they building? Also, what the hell is with the snap-zooms?

An arena battle is a cool idea. Hell, I've thought of filming a Jedi gladiator battle for years. However, this entire scene bothers me for the simple fact that neither Anakin nor Obi use THE GODDAMN FORCE. They can push, pull, jump, run, etc... yet instead they just roll around like morons.

Obi's "Good job" line is excellent. This film needed far more of that.

The Geonosian language is pretty cool.

I love me some Portman midriff... so, I will allow that.

Force... calming? Hmmm....

Jump? I'm not a chick... but I'm pretty sure that would hurt like hell.

No one notices that thousand ships show up? Not even Mr. Sith Lord?

I like the idea of a shit load of Jedi fighting... but it really depresses me that 200 Jedi suck at fighting THAT much.

It is also really clear that the Jedi are just random extras who have NO idea how to handle a sword.

Why does Jango get involved in this at all? He has nothing to gain by fighting these Jedi.

Oh, Kit Fisto, you remembered you could use the Force.

Dude, Obi, that's just an innocent animal that the bad guys forced to attack you You don't need to so ruthlessly kill it.

DEUS EX MACHINA!

Say, where did the Clones get those ships?

Why are the Jedi fighting on the ground? I think we've shown that they suck at fighting droids.

Having the Death Star in the background was a cool choice... until they brought it to the foreground. Audiences really aren't that stupid, George.

You're out of rockets? What about lasers?

"Jedi powers." What a terrible line. Is that really what a 70 year old Jedi would say?

How do you know there's a hangar, Padme?

This is, easily, the worst duel in the saga. The acting, energy, and choreography are terrible. Dooku is supposed to be a fencing master... but he  doesn't do a single fencing move. And he also wins by not doing anything. Anakin just drops his guard.

Oh lord, the Yoda saber fight. Let's clear this up right now: Yoda should never use a lighsaber. He is a 900 year old MASTER, a sword should be well behind him. This fight is absurd. How does an 80 year old man defeat a 900 year old Jedi? This should never have happened. I think George thought we'd be impressed with his twirly, spinny shit.. but he doesn't even win. Dooku just stands there and holds him off. Also, Yoda then has a hard time lifting that weird power cylinder... thing. Size matters not, my ass.

Yeah, Padme, use your little laser gun. Good call.

Why is Sidious wearing his good here? Does Dooku not know who it is? I mean, if we know, he should know.

How dare they use Vader's march here. Disgusting.

Anakin and Padme are married. We all know that marriages created from a 2 week relationship last. True love, absolutely.

Well, sorry, I am going to have to do Sith later. I'm fucking tired and, as it turns out, I just can't handle the prequel trilogy on my own. I am weak.

A few technical notes: This movie looked decent on Blu-Ray. This was shot on a digital camera in 2001, which was well before digital cameras were a thing. Because of that, the image is a bit soft and does not hold up the images of today (2012). That isn't to say it was bad, but it was still clear that it wasn't, uh, clear. The real issue here is that they won't really be able to clean this up for the future. Film can always be scanned at a high resolution, but this is trapped in its 1080p form for all time. I suppose they could re-render it entirely, but I doubt they will. Which is fine since this movie is pretty lousy anyways. The sound, however, was top-notch.

The Drunken Prequels: Episode 1: The Phantom Menace

This will be, as suggested by Anthony, a stream of consciousness style post. Now, As I do plan to be drinking for this, that may result in some... interesting diction. Really, that's the point, right? I start sober.

Let us begin!

And a shot of Kraken!

I remember seeing this in the theaters. My first midnight movie. While already a die-hard SW fan (as much as a 12 year old can be), I do recall going into this pretty skeptical. (Oh, holy shit, surround sound is fucking awesome) The original teaser was amazing and did a great job of setting up my expectations, but this was also at in the the early years of internet rumors/spoilers/etc, so I had heard... thing.

Opening scroll is alright. Nothing spectacular.

Qui-Gon is pretty cool, but the Neimodians really are horrendous. Racist AND pointless.

Man, Jedi cloaks kick ass.

Did they really need a droid that looks just like 3PO right off?

They waste no time in getting to the lightsabers. As a kid, this was awesome. I mean, the more sabers the better. But now? Some thing should be rare to psyche you up.

How the HELL did anyone not realize Sidious was Palpatine? Waste of screentime by trying to make that a mystery.

"Roger roger" Blow me.

CG is showing its age a bit. The digital softening done to the Blu-Rays doesn't help.

Ugh, "Jedi Hyper Speed" is so absurd. Don't introduce superpowers that the characters seem to forget later!

McGreggor and Neeson do kick ass. Excellent choices who would have lived up to the Star Wars name under different direction.

(This is good pizza. Check out Luigi's in midtown Sacramento. Good concert venue as well)

As time passes, it becomes more obvious when it's Portman and when it's Knightley.

Droids riding speeder bikes (STAPPS). Why? Why not just flying attack droids?

Aaaaand Jar Jar. Yea. Though, actually decent CGI. Leading the way to Gollum.

Lightsabers look better here than in AOTC and ROTS. Likely due to shooting on film.

Question: would Jar Jar be as bad in his native language?

I always got using mind-tricks on mad guys... but Qui-Gon just throws that shit around,doesn't he? Don't get me wrong, I like the idea of a less-ethical Jedi, but they don't really play it that way.

Don't ever go fishing on Naboo.

Did they intend for Jar Jar to be so unintelligible? I do not have a damned clue what he's trying to say.

Who elects a 14 year old Queen? Sure, she's hot (I can still say that, right? I was 12 when this came out...), but that implies some pretty lousy competition.

This is not a good film... but John Williams knocks it out of the park nonetheless. The best soundtrack of the prequels, no question.

It IS lovely, Jar Jar. Theed is pretty badass.

(Note, I will try to avoid saying the same things as REDLETTERMEDIA, though I do agree with almost all of it.)

The handmaiden robes are really pretty. Would be cool bridesmaide's colors. Don't tell Jessi I said that.

Kiera Knightley delivers her lines better than Natalie. Always stick with the Brits.

Where did the pilots go? I think their queen could have used some fucking escort. Assholes.

Still love that Ric Olie (pilot of the queen's ship) only speaks in exposition. Everything he says is obvious and is what is literally already happening.

I actually like R2's introduction. Heroic and fun. Not smart, sure, but I always root for R2.

Don't get me started on Darth Maul (until I've had a few more drinks... SHOT!)

It is still a dream of mine to caption everything R2 says. I imagine him as a really sarcastic son of a bitch.

Why is the queen cleaning a droid?

Okay, what is a "disturbance in the Force"? Maul? Anakin? Or maybe it's more like Spidey-Sense?

Poop joke. Even 12 year-old me went, "Come the fuck on!"

I like Watto. Yeah, I said it.

I don't like young Anakin. Yeah, me and everyone else who saw this movie said it.

Jedi Mind Trick: okay. Taking the hyperdrive by force: not okay. Great logic, Qui-Gon.

Yipee. Yi. Pee. Take that in. Really set it soak in.

Obi-Wan's lightsaber is really cool.

Why did they think that it was a good idea to call young Anakin, future Darth-fucking-Vader, Ani?

It is stupid that Anakin built 3PO. Why does a slave need a protocol droid?

More proof that R2's lines are awesome. Mocking 3PO right off. Love that little guy.

Maul gets lines! Wouldn't it have made more sense for him to... no. No. Not yet. SHOT!

Laser sword. Stay out of the movie, George!

Taking the hyperdrive by force is wrong. Betting a child's life? Totally fair game.

This could have been a short sequence. Arrive on Tatooine, find a child really strong in the Force, save his life during a battle in which is mother dies, take him with you. Done. No idiotic betting. No "virgin birth". No goddamn podracing.

Children. Gross.

For having such a high Midiclorian count, Anakin never really does anything awesome, does he? Through AOTC and ROTS, he's just a cocky bitch with no powers above those of any other Jedi.

Watto doesn't know Gui-Gon's a Jedi? Okay, maybe I don't like him so much.

The N64 Podracing game was really fun. It managed to capture the excitement of such an event far better than this movie did.

Why is there a random bolt sticking off the side of Anakin's pod that, when moved slightly, completely shuts the vehicle down?

CG Jabba never looks good. The rubbery, slimy nature of the ROTJ puppet lends itself far better for his character.

The podrace certainly sounds quite amazing.

Anakin's pod is so fast that he can catch up after stalling for almost a minute. He should really win by a massive margin.

I enjoyed this sequence in my youth, but now it is pretty clear that it is overly long and almost completely devoid of tension. There is never any question that Anakin will win because they have already set up that he HAS to.

Wait. The piece Subulba moved made Anakin's pod not work at the beginning. Somehow, Anakin got it to work anyhow. Two laps later, it causes him more issues. What the fuck does this little piece do!?

His pod is only fast enough to always catch up to, but never pass, Subulba.

JUST TAKE BOTH OF THEM QUI-GON! Jesus, what a cunt. I'm surprised how mad this is making me. It would have made more sense for his ultimate turn to have come from him blaming the Jedi for being selfish and letting his mother die. Good job George, you've made the Jedi into assholes. I know when I was a kid, I pretended I was a Jedi in the woods who ignored the plight of innocent slaves.

Why is it that Darth Maul just... no. No. Almost there. SHOT!

Could have been a nasty scene if the droids had found the Gungan city and destroyed it.

Jar Jar's feet make no sense for an aquatic lifeform. Fat and thick does not lend itself to swimming.

When, Anakin? When did you make that necklace?

Coruscant is fucking awesome. "The entire planet is one big city." I like that idea a lot.

I like that the blue Republic guards are an early version of the red Imperial Royal Guards from ROTJ. Good art direction.

Did Jar Jar just call the Queen hot?

The whole plot of Palpatine becoming Supreme Chancellor could have made more sense if he'd been a legendary general a la Julius Caesar.

Whoa, CG Yoda. Uh... well, I guess that makes more sense. Though, Yaddle should have been CG too.

I always forget that McNulty was a guard in this.

Heh, Trade Federation have pope hats.

Anyone can just call into question the leader and have him voted out of office. Man, that would make the US government far more interesting.

I fucking LOVE that ET's race is in the senate.

This is an awkward test for entering Jedi training. Anakin was never really given a chance.

Obviously it was Palpatine's plan to become Chancellor... but how? What did he do to make this happen? A shit load of Jedi... err, Sith-Mind-Tricks? He didn't need some absurd "trade dispute" to make that happen. Though, I guess we wouldn't have gotten George's analogy for modern US politics...

Riiiiiiight, send the kid back to Naboo with the guy who doesn't agree with the Council's wishes. FUCK this movie is stupid.

Technical note: this film does not translate to digital 1080p as well as I'd hoped. It as shot on film only a decade ago, so scanning and cleaning it should have been easy. Instead, it's waxy and strange soft.

What is going on with Obi's hair in this scene? I know it was a pickup shot, but how do you fuck up a wig that badly?

Naboo forests are actually nicely different from Endor. Mistier and denser. A little touch that I enjoy.

This is the kind of time when it makes little sense for the Queen to be in disguise.

I like the nod that Qui-Gon and Obi knew it was her the whole time, but nonetheless, the whole ruse is confusing and unnecessary.

Okay, let's do this. Darth Maul should have survived for all three of the prequels. He is believably badass. Give him some character and he could have provided a nice arc. He can still kill Qui-Gon and lose to Obi without dying. Then, by the time ROTS comes around, he could have a re-match with Obi where he whoops his ass and Anakin has to step in and show just how fucking awesome he has become. He was instantly popular with kids during the promotions for this movie. Seriously, look at the guy. He looks like a savage and has a goddamn lightsaber STAFF. George did all the work necessary to set up an imposing and legendary villain with this guy, and then just squandered it. I know Ray Park isn't much of a thespian, but that doesn't stop the idea from being sound. I cannot stop imagining how incredible an Anakin vs. Maul duel would have been. You may now be asking, in my imaginary ROTS, if Obi loses to Maul and then Anakin defeats him, how is it that Obi could beat Anakin in the climatic duel? Well come on people, that's easy. However, I'll be dicussing that in a few hours with ROTS. Admittedly, I may not be terribly sober. Time shall tell.

I absolutely LOVE the design of the Naboo Starfighter. It is sleek, bright, and completely unlike anything we saw in the OT. It fits in with the opulent Naboo society as set up by this movie and really pops against a black starfield. Also, holy shit the toy was awesome.

Eww, Gungan fight.  The only cool thing to come out of this battle was the energy shield. Imagine a Jedi gladiator battle with a saber and shield like that. I plan to film something like that some day.

Double. Sided. Lightsaber. So fucking cool.

FUCK YOU ANAKIN.

Duel of the fates is genius. Should have been recalled in a more proper fashion for the ROTS fight.

Obi's weird fake/groan always upsets me.

Somewhere between 1983 and 1999, George forgot how to film a space battle. ROTJ is so brilliant that I don't understand how NONE of the prequels features a decent battle. The Obi/Jange chase is pretty cool, but it's a chase, not a battle.

Where is your mother fucking goddamn Jedi super speed now, Obi-Wan!?!?!? Huh!? COME ON!!!!

This Gungan battle does not hold up. The CG is very glossy and unreal. I'd say it was a shame, but considering the rest of the film... eh.

I do like that shot of the droid tank cutting into the ground.

This space battle especially bums me out because I really like the designs of the ships.

RUN FASTER OBI-WAN!

It occurs to me, shouldn't Qui-Gon TRY to talk to this guy? It doesn't come off as strange that these people are just trying to kill one another without questioning the situation at all?

Why are there guns in the throne? Paranoid people much?

I really do like the Obi/Maul fight... except that only Maul thinks to use the Force.

I can't even think of what to say about Anakin destroying the ship. My rage doesn't have any appropriate analog in the English language.

Obi should have kept Qui-Gon's saber for AOTC. Too much blue.

"We will watch your career with great interest." Yeah... fine, that's a good line.

You can train someone without the Council's permission? What a jacked system.

Burning Qui-Gone would smell AWFUL.

OH MY GOD IT'S PALPATINE. PEOPLE ARE SO STUPID.

I like this victory song. Not so much in this movie, but it's catchy.

CG sticks out a little too much here.

Okay... time to sober up a bit for AOTC. 'Cause that one is going to get me hammered.

PEACE!

Rolling in the Deep - Adele

Okay, this one is a little random. But, shit, it is really goddamn catchy and I've been walking around my apartment all night singing it, so I figured I may as well write about it. The first, oh, I don't know, 30 times I heard this song I really didn't like it. For some reason, I couldn't find the melody. The sounds of her voice and the background singers all just melded together and I couldn't discerne a coherent tune, so the song just couldn't stick with me. The same thing actually happened with "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley. Eventually, with both songs, the melody found me and latched on fiercely.

I won't say that I like this song, but I will say that I think it's a good song. Adele's vocals are powerful while still being distinct. There are hints of cracking and pitchiness that add character and don't at all feel like mistakes. I love it when a singer can BELT out a note, and Adele clearly has that skill down. Her voice has a nice rich "earthiness" that actually reminds me a bit of Ann Wilson of Heart. That's some damn lofty praise, by the way.

The comparison to Ms. Wilson is a bit of a problem. What makes Ann Wilson have such a special place in my heart (...) is that she rocks. Heart were a rock band and, in my opinion, one of the few do it right with a female vocalist. Ann Wilson easily could have sang the bluesy, mo-town-esque songs that Adele seems to be drawn to. But she didn't. I think that Adele would be absolutely amazing to hear in a rock band. She has that rare quality that most female singers lack that would allow her to sound perfectly at home next to some wailing guitars.

Oh, also, I hate the background singers. It makes the song corny. Probably one of the reasons that I like Linkin Park's cover of the song. They made it purely about the emotion and the vocals. Maybe Adele does an acoustic version... off to YouTube!

Bright Eyes - Road to Joy

While Bright Eyes and I have certainly had a sketchy history, there were two songs that won me over. One was At the Bottom of Everything (which I'm sure I'll write about at a later date) and the other was this.

Initially, I was put off by the fact that he was using Beethoven. It just seemed too damn hip for its own good. But the thing with Conor Oberst is that you really have to listen. As someone who fancies himself a writer, my favorite part of music has pretty much always been the lyrics. Plays on words, puns, homages, clever rhymes, etc. This song has most of that. The initial few puns are fun... though the cemetary line took a long time for me to catch on.
But what really sells this song for me is when I finally realized that this is an angry song. I'm a total sucker for the interplay between bitter poetry and joyous (yeah) melody.

Another reason I fell in love with this song is one of the final lines. I had trouble enjoying Bright Eyes mostly because of Conor's vocals. They are rough, tired, and warbly. But this is fucking folk music. He knows that. And to segue into the cacophonous climax of the album by calling attention to it makes me smile.

Favorite Moment: "When you're asked to fight a war that's over nothing, it's best to join the side that's gonna win."

I really need to write again...

I spend my days typing. Mindless, by the numbers typing. You would think that the last thing I would want to do when I get home at the end of the day is type more. Well, that's mostly true. However, I really miss typing things on my own terms. So, on that note, I figured that going back to this old blog might be a good idea.

Now, as for WHAT I will be typing about, I have an idea or two. First, a few years back my family decided that we were going to create individual lists of our top 100 songs of all time. Not surprisingly, that never came to fruition. The problem was that tastes and favorites change constantly. I did, during the time that I thought I would be making the list, start writing about songs I loved. It was fun and surprisingly fulfilling. I think I'll start doing that again. Instead of trying to make a list out of it, however, I'll just start writing about a random song each day. A song I love, a song I hate, a song that I'd just never considered before. I want to try, as often as possible, to put on a song with a decent set of headphones and then write about it. Meaningless in every way except that it will let me write something from my own mind.

I'll start tomorrow. Famous last words, I know. But I just bought this tablet and I surely do enjoy using it. I hope that will be reason enough to keep this up.

I am writing in a blog: I am important.

I think I might start using this. True, I have a livejournal... but I think the time has come and passed for that old thing.

Good morning Dave.

I am just going to come out and say that I do not like 2001. Without a doubt it is a stunningly beautiful film, but that was part of the problem. The shots are just too damn long. I get that Kubrick was essentially showing off how lovely his compositions were, but it slowed the story down so much that I could not even pretend to care anymore.

My first issue is with the entire Ape sequence. Okay, I get the metaphor, chill out and move on already! This sequence was unnecessarily long and ridiculous. I got extremely bored and left the room until the scene finally ended. Also, humans in ape suits just isn't convincing. Ever.

This is yet another example of how time is brutal on a lot of art. In my opinion, 2001 has not aged well. At this point, the story is deeply embedded within pop culture and it has been parodied endlessly. In fact, some of the parodies have been BETTER than the film.

Ah, HAL. Apparently he is gay. Okay then. All I really have to say about that article is, seriously, is it possible to read any more deeply into a film? For that matter, it basically boiled down to seeing whatever you are looking for. For example, the article claims that HAL's voice is androgynous. I disagree. It was always male for me. I never once questioned it. Even now, when I try, I cannot hear the voice as a female. HAL is a man. Not a gay man, either. Just a computer program with an ego complex that happened to be programmed to have the voice of a male human.

For my opinion and input on the topic of egomanical super computers, please see my overly long first post about Colossus. I said absolutely everything there that I would care to say here and now. If I had watched this first, I am sure my thoughts would be deeper and more in depth, but as it is, I feel like I have said all that I want to.

I will say that the special effects here were incredible. People generally credit Star Wars with pioneering the visual effects era, but I really feel like everything looked just as good in this movie as in Star Wars years later. Star Wars simply took the theme and made it even more grand, but not much better.