The Drunken Prequels: Episode Two: Attack of the Clones

God help me, here we go...

Well, that opening score just never gets old, does it?

I like the title. Campy in a similar fashion to ESB. Unfortunately, it doesn't actually make a lot of sense for the movie, does it?

A pan up. Nice.

Not showing Padme's face right away is too obvious.

I like the foggy setting as they land. Good, ominous tone.

She's only a senator now. Why does she need a decoy?

Already the red, Imperial guards? A bit soon for my taste, but they look so awesome that I'll allow it.

You're a Jedi, Yoda. Why are there any warm feelings in your distant, mutant heart?

Sam Jackson is a great actor... yet he can't deliver a single line well in these films. Lack of imagination or is the direction just that bad? My bet is on the latter.

Hayden really isn't that bad... but the writing really is.

Ugh, stop saying Ani.

To be fair, she IS fucking beautiful. Anakin has needs.

Zem's speeder design is awesome. I have imagine myself in something similar many times.

Covered the cameras. And then R2 turns off. This is absurd. Who would have fucking thought they'd try the giant window?

I like the exchange between Anakin and Obi about dreams. Seems almost genuine.

Bugs for murder? You're already at the window, dude. Just throw a fucking thermal detonator in there.

You're a DROID R2, you don't need to sleep. Lazy bitch.

Anakin is really that poor a judge of character?

I know it doesn't make sense that Obi jumps out of the window... but this sequence is fun enough that I get over it. Makes me think of a Grand Theft Auto: Coruscant game. I really enjoy this whole sequence. Anakin's jump out of the speeder is the single event in the whole prequel trilogy that makes him seem cool.

"That was short." Then why include it, George?

I'm not sure why Anakin sticks his lightsaber into the cockpit. Must have a deathwish. Fucking emo teenagers, man.

A girl in a thong. In Star Wars. I mean, it is the underbelly, nightclub world of Coruscant, so hey, who knows what those chicks wear.

A changling, eh? Like Tommy in Rugrats? Kudos to anyone who gets that.

Will he really go home and think his life? Maybe he'll just get home and realize he's fucked for not having sold enough deathsticks that night. He won't be able to pay rent and will end up dead. Great message, George.

Hey guys, maybe follow that dude with the jetpack. Maybe he knows something.

Right, send the hormonely charged teenager with the hotty senator to a remote location. You Jedi are not great judges of character.

His abilities have made him arrogant? How about you SHOW us some of that instead of just claiming it's there.

Sloppy writing. Jar Jar a senator?

Whine about your life. Bitches love whining.

Yes, then give her the rapey eyes. Bitches love rapey eyes.

Another situation where I wish I could read R2's mind. I'm pretty sure they sent him (it?) as the actual protection. R2 doesn't fuck around.

Fuck yeah Jawa Juice (SHOT!)

Jango doesn't seem terribly smart to use weapons from the secret planet he's stationed on.

Poor CG on Dex, but the voice acting isn't too bad.

Jedi Library. It isn't all just stored on a thumb drive? Huh.

Decent acting from Hayden in this scene. Well, until the shit about dreaming about Padme. Though, to be fair, I doubt Jedi get a lot of practice with the ladies.

Kids with lightsabers. Yeah, that seems like a great idea. Also, Plinket nailed this one. Obi improved this blind exercise in ANH, but suddenly they use it as an official training. Lame.

The stars pull towards it? Fuck off. Stars are not that close together. Gravity wouldn't mean jack shit.

YT-1300 freighters on Naboo. I'll allow it.

They don't have rolling suitcases in this universe?

Jedi Starfighter, you so sexy. Early A-Wing. Mmmmm.

Ocean planet... actually, that one makes sense. The one planet I wouldn't want to live on, but a cool idea.

This planet reeks of A.I.

Not sure why Obi fakes it here. Why wouldn't he just ask honest questions? These guys don't seem to be in on some insidious (heh) scheme, so they would likely answer the questions of a Jedi.

Oh, this lovely "sand" speech. 100 dollars to ANY man who manges to woo a woman with this. She has to know know the origin.

As much as I love the "Theed Invasion" piece, it doesn't make a lot of sense for it to be recalled right now. Good set up of "Take any direction without question."

Say, who is training these clones to be soldiers?

No, Padme, the problem is that there are too many people. A senate can't work for thousands of planets.

You know what, I agree Anakin. If a dictator ships works, go for it. Problem is, people suck and a good ruler only comes about once in a thousand years.

Hayden's laughing here is pretty genuine. Doesn't fit the SCENE, but he does seem happy.

Fuck yeah swimming/flying winged whale things. More of those!

Was having Boba Fett really necessary? No. No is the answer.

The Jango guy is a good actor though. If he had just been in the movie, no mention of Boba, it would have been a lot cooler.

Bitches love telekenesis.

Oh god, it's the fireplace scene! SHOT!

They should have just fallen in love without any of the "forbidden" shit. It feels too forced otherwise. Hell, he could have just been smitten and knocked her up. That would be a pretty different galaxy far, far away.

I enjoy the fight with Jango. It doesn't make sense that Obi doesn't use the Force, but it's fun.

Do people really say out loud the things they experience in dreams?

I like the shot of Anakin in the "Vader" pose while meditating. Pretty composition.

I like that Anakin feels he has to go home because he can feel his mother's pain. It is a solid callback (forward?) to Luke's experience on Dagobah. It just needed to be portrayed as honest rather than contrived.

I like that Obi has clearly been trained in hand to hand combat. It's a side of the Jedi we haven't seen before.

Why did you activate your saber, Obi? It's just another effect for the post department.

Oh, yea, Tatooine.

I like how Watto recognized Anakin. It's more subtle than almost everything in the film.

Okay, this chase in the planet ring is awesome Those seismic charges are fucking amazing. Turned it WAY up for those. Sorry neighbors. (Not really.)

Granted, a scene like this should have been Anakin. He is, afterall, the "best pilot", right?

The orb stations/ships on Geonosis remind me a lot of ET's ship. In a good way.

Aaaand we're at the Lars homestead. Feels good. Well, minus 3PO being in some lame silver casing.

It makes me sad that we don't get more interaction between Owen and Anakin. Owen's hatred for Anakin was clear in ANH, and it would have been awesome to see them get to know one another and come to a clear disagreement.

Shit Padme looks fine in these scenes.

Duel of the Fates here? Really? It serves no purpose and fades out too quickly. Shame.

I really like the idea of Obi being a sleuth in these scenes... if only he weren't so bad at it.

A poor introduction to Dooku. This is the man who is supposed to be the replacement for Darth Maul, yet he is not fearsome or intimidating at all. I love Chris Lee, but he worked much better as Saruman.

Good idea for a scene and mostly well shot, but Anakin should have faced a bit more trouble in taking down in the sand people. Well, maybe not trouble, but we should have at least seen more. I would have liked to see him truly rage out. Force powers gone nuts, that kind of thing.

Shmi being delirious is a nice touch. One of the better moments.

Is it really that confusing that Anakin went home, dude? You sent your angst-ridden little Padawan off with his dream girl, and you're surprised he did something crazy? Having dreams about his mom for years, yet when he heads home, you're surprised? Come on, man.

Hayden's performance in the scene is great. His eyes and his posture say a lot. He seems just a bit proud of it, which is nice. Though, Padme's reaction doesn't make a lick of sense. "To be angry is to be human"? Really? Humans murder children when they get angry? They come from a rough neighborhood.

SHOT!

One of the worst parts about this movie is that there really is a semblance of a good movie in here.

Off all the times in this movie, Anakin should have been the one to recommend running off to save Obi. At least that would have lent itself to a "friendship."

People really don't question using a clone army that no one knew about? I get appoving an army, but a clone army that just happens to exist on an uncharted world?

I like the idea of a former Jedi being a character. But not like this. I would prefer it to be more like a Han Solo figure. A rebel with something to prove. Dooku is just a random pawn who has no clear purpose whatsoever.

Dooku telling Obi about a Sith lord is nice. It's a good tactic to tell the truth in a situation like this. This scene is meant to play off of ESB, but there is really no reason for Dooku to be telling Obi this. Does he actually want him to join him? Does Dooku actually hate that he works for the Sith?

FUCK YOU JAR JAR! YOU BURN IN HELL!

This calls back to what I said during TPM. Palpatine takes the powers like Ceasar did. But, as I said, he doesn't in any way earn it. He just comes out of fucking nowhere. His power does not seem scary because we don't really understand it roots. He is too nefarious to be menacing. He's just evil for the sake of being evil rather than appearing to have a real goal.

"I've given up trying to argue with you." What? Are there deleted scened we're missing? It's a funny little "couple moment"... but then, theyve never been a couple.

Oh, awesome, an action scene without ANY merit. This in no way furthers the plot except that, hey, we haven't seen a lightsaber in a while!

Look, we get that 3PO and R2 were the "eyes" of the Ot... but that doesn't mean they had to be in so many scenes in the prequels. It doesn't make sense, and, it actually hurts them as characters. IS NOTHING SACRED, GEORGE!?

Why is his arm stuck? What are they building? Also, what the hell is with the snap-zooms?

An arena battle is a cool idea. Hell, I've thought of filming a Jedi gladiator battle for years. However, this entire scene bothers me for the simple fact that neither Anakin nor Obi use THE GODDAMN FORCE. They can push, pull, jump, run, etc... yet instead they just roll around like morons.

Obi's "Good job" line is excellent. This film needed far more of that.

The Geonosian language is pretty cool.

I love me some Portman midriff... so, I will allow that.

Force... calming? Hmmm....

Jump? I'm not a chick... but I'm pretty sure that would hurt like hell.

No one notices that thousand ships show up? Not even Mr. Sith Lord?

I like the idea of a shit load of Jedi fighting... but it really depresses me that 200 Jedi suck at fighting THAT much.

It is also really clear that the Jedi are just random extras who have NO idea how to handle a sword.

Why does Jango get involved in this at all? He has nothing to gain by fighting these Jedi.

Oh, Kit Fisto, you remembered you could use the Force.

Dude, Obi, that's just an innocent animal that the bad guys forced to attack you You don't need to so ruthlessly kill it.

DEUS EX MACHINA!

Say, where did the Clones get those ships?

Why are the Jedi fighting on the ground? I think we've shown that they suck at fighting droids.

Having the Death Star in the background was a cool choice... until they brought it to the foreground. Audiences really aren't that stupid, George.

You're out of rockets? What about lasers?

"Jedi powers." What a terrible line. Is that really what a 70 year old Jedi would say?

How do you know there's a hangar, Padme?

This is, easily, the worst duel in the saga. The acting, energy, and choreography are terrible. Dooku is supposed to be a fencing master... but he  doesn't do a single fencing move. And he also wins by not doing anything. Anakin just drops his guard.

Oh lord, the Yoda saber fight. Let's clear this up right now: Yoda should never use a lighsaber. He is a 900 year old MASTER, a sword should be well behind him. This fight is absurd. How does an 80 year old man defeat a 900 year old Jedi? This should never have happened. I think George thought we'd be impressed with his twirly, spinny shit.. but he doesn't even win. Dooku just stands there and holds him off. Also, Yoda then has a hard time lifting that weird power cylinder... thing. Size matters not, my ass.

Yeah, Padme, use your little laser gun. Good call.

Why is Sidious wearing his good here? Does Dooku not know who it is? I mean, if we know, he should know.

How dare they use Vader's march here. Disgusting.

Anakin and Padme are married. We all know that marriages created from a 2 week relationship last. True love, absolutely.

Well, sorry, I am going to have to do Sith later. I'm fucking tired and, as it turns out, I just can't handle the prequel trilogy on my own. I am weak.

A few technical notes: This movie looked decent on Blu-Ray. This was shot on a digital camera in 2001, which was well before digital cameras were a thing. Because of that, the image is a bit soft and does not hold up the images of today (2012). That isn't to say it was bad, but it was still clear that it wasn't, uh, clear. The real issue here is that they won't really be able to clean this up for the future. Film can always be scanned at a high resolution, but this is trapped in its 1080p form for all time. I suppose they could re-render it entirely, but I doubt they will. Which is fine since this movie is pretty lousy anyways. The sound, however, was top-notch.

The Drunken Prequels: Episode 1: The Phantom Menace

This will be, as suggested by Anthony, a stream of consciousness style post. Now, As I do plan to be drinking for this, that may result in some... interesting diction. Really, that's the point, right? I start sober.

Let us begin!

And a shot of Kraken!

I remember seeing this in the theaters. My first midnight movie. While already a die-hard SW fan (as much as a 12 year old can be), I do recall going into this pretty skeptical. (Oh, holy shit, surround sound is fucking awesome) The original teaser was amazing and did a great job of setting up my expectations, but this was also at in the the early years of internet rumors/spoilers/etc, so I had heard... thing.

Opening scroll is alright. Nothing spectacular.

Qui-Gon is pretty cool, but the Neimodians really are horrendous. Racist AND pointless.

Man, Jedi cloaks kick ass.

Did they really need a droid that looks just like 3PO right off?

They waste no time in getting to the lightsabers. As a kid, this was awesome. I mean, the more sabers the better. But now? Some thing should be rare to psyche you up.

How the HELL did anyone not realize Sidious was Palpatine? Waste of screentime by trying to make that a mystery.

"Roger roger" Blow me.

CG is showing its age a bit. The digital softening done to the Blu-Rays doesn't help.

Ugh, "Jedi Hyper Speed" is so absurd. Don't introduce superpowers that the characters seem to forget later!

McGreggor and Neeson do kick ass. Excellent choices who would have lived up to the Star Wars name under different direction.

(This is good pizza. Check out Luigi's in midtown Sacramento. Good concert venue as well)

As time passes, it becomes more obvious when it's Portman and when it's Knightley.

Droids riding speeder bikes (STAPPS). Why? Why not just flying attack droids?

Aaaaand Jar Jar. Yea. Though, actually decent CGI. Leading the way to Gollum.

Lightsabers look better here than in AOTC and ROTS. Likely due to shooting on film.

Question: would Jar Jar be as bad in his native language?

I always got using mind-tricks on mad guys... but Qui-Gon just throws that shit around,doesn't he? Don't get me wrong, I like the idea of a less-ethical Jedi, but they don't really play it that way.

Don't ever go fishing on Naboo.

Did they intend for Jar Jar to be so unintelligible? I do not have a damned clue what he's trying to say.

Who elects a 14 year old Queen? Sure, she's hot (I can still say that, right? I was 12 when this came out...), but that implies some pretty lousy competition.

This is not a good film... but John Williams knocks it out of the park nonetheless. The best soundtrack of the prequels, no question.

It IS lovely, Jar Jar. Theed is pretty badass.

(Note, I will try to avoid saying the same things as REDLETTERMEDIA, though I do agree with almost all of it.)

The handmaiden robes are really pretty. Would be cool bridesmaide's colors. Don't tell Jessi I said that.

Kiera Knightley delivers her lines better than Natalie. Always stick with the Brits.

Where did the pilots go? I think their queen could have used some fucking escort. Assholes.

Still love that Ric Olie (pilot of the queen's ship) only speaks in exposition. Everything he says is obvious and is what is literally already happening.

I actually like R2's introduction. Heroic and fun. Not smart, sure, but I always root for R2.

Don't get me started on Darth Maul (until I've had a few more drinks... SHOT!)

It is still a dream of mine to caption everything R2 says. I imagine him as a really sarcastic son of a bitch.

Why is the queen cleaning a droid?

Okay, what is a "disturbance in the Force"? Maul? Anakin? Or maybe it's more like Spidey-Sense?

Poop joke. Even 12 year-old me went, "Come the fuck on!"

I like Watto. Yeah, I said it.

I don't like young Anakin. Yeah, me and everyone else who saw this movie said it.

Jedi Mind Trick: okay. Taking the hyperdrive by force: not okay. Great logic, Qui-Gon.

Yipee. Yi. Pee. Take that in. Really set it soak in.

Obi-Wan's lightsaber is really cool.

Why did they think that it was a good idea to call young Anakin, future Darth-fucking-Vader, Ani?

It is stupid that Anakin built 3PO. Why does a slave need a protocol droid?

More proof that R2's lines are awesome. Mocking 3PO right off. Love that little guy.

Maul gets lines! Wouldn't it have made more sense for him to... no. No. Not yet. SHOT!

Laser sword. Stay out of the movie, George!

Taking the hyperdrive by force is wrong. Betting a child's life? Totally fair game.

This could have been a short sequence. Arrive on Tatooine, find a child really strong in the Force, save his life during a battle in which is mother dies, take him with you. Done. No idiotic betting. No "virgin birth". No goddamn podracing.

Children. Gross.

For having such a high Midiclorian count, Anakin never really does anything awesome, does he? Through AOTC and ROTS, he's just a cocky bitch with no powers above those of any other Jedi.

Watto doesn't know Gui-Gon's a Jedi? Okay, maybe I don't like him so much.

The N64 Podracing game was really fun. It managed to capture the excitement of such an event far better than this movie did.

Why is there a random bolt sticking off the side of Anakin's pod that, when moved slightly, completely shuts the vehicle down?

CG Jabba never looks good. The rubbery, slimy nature of the ROTJ puppet lends itself far better for his character.

The podrace certainly sounds quite amazing.

Anakin's pod is so fast that he can catch up after stalling for almost a minute. He should really win by a massive margin.

I enjoyed this sequence in my youth, but now it is pretty clear that it is overly long and almost completely devoid of tension. There is never any question that Anakin will win because they have already set up that he HAS to.

Wait. The piece Subulba moved made Anakin's pod not work at the beginning. Somehow, Anakin got it to work anyhow. Two laps later, it causes him more issues. What the fuck does this little piece do!?

His pod is only fast enough to always catch up to, but never pass, Subulba.

JUST TAKE BOTH OF THEM QUI-GON! Jesus, what a cunt. I'm surprised how mad this is making me. It would have made more sense for his ultimate turn to have come from him blaming the Jedi for being selfish and letting his mother die. Good job George, you've made the Jedi into assholes. I know when I was a kid, I pretended I was a Jedi in the woods who ignored the plight of innocent slaves.

Why is it that Darth Maul just... no. No. Almost there. SHOT!

Could have been a nasty scene if the droids had found the Gungan city and destroyed it.

Jar Jar's feet make no sense for an aquatic lifeform. Fat and thick does not lend itself to swimming.

When, Anakin? When did you make that necklace?

Coruscant is fucking awesome. "The entire planet is one big city." I like that idea a lot.

I like that the blue Republic guards are an early version of the red Imperial Royal Guards from ROTJ. Good art direction.

Did Jar Jar just call the Queen hot?

The whole plot of Palpatine becoming Supreme Chancellor could have made more sense if he'd been a legendary general a la Julius Caesar.

Whoa, CG Yoda. Uh... well, I guess that makes more sense. Though, Yaddle should have been CG too.

I always forget that McNulty was a guard in this.

Heh, Trade Federation have pope hats.

Anyone can just call into question the leader and have him voted out of office. Man, that would make the US government far more interesting.

I fucking LOVE that ET's race is in the senate.

This is an awkward test for entering Jedi training. Anakin was never really given a chance.

Obviously it was Palpatine's plan to become Chancellor... but how? What did he do to make this happen? A shit load of Jedi... err, Sith-Mind-Tricks? He didn't need some absurd "trade dispute" to make that happen. Though, I guess we wouldn't have gotten George's analogy for modern US politics...

Riiiiiiight, send the kid back to Naboo with the guy who doesn't agree with the Council's wishes. FUCK this movie is stupid.

Technical note: this film does not translate to digital 1080p as well as I'd hoped. It as shot on film only a decade ago, so scanning and cleaning it should have been easy. Instead, it's waxy and strange soft.

What is going on with Obi's hair in this scene? I know it was a pickup shot, but how do you fuck up a wig that badly?

Naboo forests are actually nicely different from Endor. Mistier and denser. A little touch that I enjoy.

This is the kind of time when it makes little sense for the Queen to be in disguise.

I like the nod that Qui-Gon and Obi knew it was her the whole time, but nonetheless, the whole ruse is confusing and unnecessary.

Okay, let's do this. Darth Maul should have survived for all three of the prequels. He is believably badass. Give him some character and he could have provided a nice arc. He can still kill Qui-Gon and lose to Obi without dying. Then, by the time ROTS comes around, he could have a re-match with Obi where he whoops his ass and Anakin has to step in and show just how fucking awesome he has become. He was instantly popular with kids during the promotions for this movie. Seriously, look at the guy. He looks like a savage and has a goddamn lightsaber STAFF. George did all the work necessary to set up an imposing and legendary villain with this guy, and then just squandered it. I know Ray Park isn't much of a thespian, but that doesn't stop the idea from being sound. I cannot stop imagining how incredible an Anakin vs. Maul duel would have been. You may now be asking, in my imaginary ROTS, if Obi loses to Maul and then Anakin defeats him, how is it that Obi could beat Anakin in the climatic duel? Well come on people, that's easy. However, I'll be dicussing that in a few hours with ROTS. Admittedly, I may not be terribly sober. Time shall tell.

I absolutely LOVE the design of the Naboo Starfighter. It is sleek, bright, and completely unlike anything we saw in the OT. It fits in with the opulent Naboo society as set up by this movie and really pops against a black starfield. Also, holy shit the toy was awesome.

Eww, Gungan fight.  The only cool thing to come out of this battle was the energy shield. Imagine a Jedi gladiator battle with a saber and shield like that. I plan to film something like that some day.

Double. Sided. Lightsaber. So fucking cool.

FUCK YOU ANAKIN.

Duel of the fates is genius. Should have been recalled in a more proper fashion for the ROTS fight.

Obi's weird fake/groan always upsets me.

Somewhere between 1983 and 1999, George forgot how to film a space battle. ROTJ is so brilliant that I don't understand how NONE of the prequels features a decent battle. The Obi/Jange chase is pretty cool, but it's a chase, not a battle.

Where is your mother fucking goddamn Jedi super speed now, Obi-Wan!?!?!? Huh!? COME ON!!!!

This Gungan battle does not hold up. The CG is very glossy and unreal. I'd say it was a shame, but considering the rest of the film... eh.

I do like that shot of the droid tank cutting into the ground.

This space battle especially bums me out because I really like the designs of the ships.

RUN FASTER OBI-WAN!

It occurs to me, shouldn't Qui-Gon TRY to talk to this guy? It doesn't come off as strange that these people are just trying to kill one another without questioning the situation at all?

Why are there guns in the throne? Paranoid people much?

I really do like the Obi/Maul fight... except that only Maul thinks to use the Force.

I can't even think of what to say about Anakin destroying the ship. My rage doesn't have any appropriate analog in the English language.

Obi should have kept Qui-Gon's saber for AOTC. Too much blue.

"We will watch your career with great interest." Yeah... fine, that's a good line.

You can train someone without the Council's permission? What a jacked system.

Burning Qui-Gone would smell AWFUL.

OH MY GOD IT'S PALPATINE. PEOPLE ARE SO STUPID.

I like this victory song. Not so much in this movie, but it's catchy.

CG sticks out a little too much here.

Okay... time to sober up a bit for AOTC. 'Cause that one is going to get me hammered.

PEACE!

Rolling in the Deep - Adele

Okay, this one is a little random. But, shit, it is really goddamn catchy and I've been walking around my apartment all night singing it, so I figured I may as well write about it. The first, oh, I don't know, 30 times I heard this song I really didn't like it. For some reason, I couldn't find the melody. The sounds of her voice and the background singers all just melded together and I couldn't discerne a coherent tune, so the song just couldn't stick with me. The same thing actually happened with "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley. Eventually, with both songs, the melody found me and latched on fiercely.

I won't say that I like this song, but I will say that I think it's a good song. Adele's vocals are powerful while still being distinct. There are hints of cracking and pitchiness that add character and don't at all feel like mistakes. I love it when a singer can BELT out a note, and Adele clearly has that skill down. Her voice has a nice rich "earthiness" that actually reminds me a bit of Ann Wilson of Heart. That's some damn lofty praise, by the way.

The comparison to Ms. Wilson is a bit of a problem. What makes Ann Wilson have such a special place in my heart (...) is that she rocks. Heart were a rock band and, in my opinion, one of the few do it right with a female vocalist. Ann Wilson easily could have sang the bluesy, mo-town-esque songs that Adele seems to be drawn to. But she didn't. I think that Adele would be absolutely amazing to hear in a rock band. She has that rare quality that most female singers lack that would allow her to sound perfectly at home next to some wailing guitars.

Oh, also, I hate the background singers. It makes the song corny. Probably one of the reasons that I like Linkin Park's cover of the song. They made it purely about the emotion and the vocals. Maybe Adele does an acoustic version... off to YouTube!

Bright Eyes - Road to Joy

While Bright Eyes and I have certainly had a sketchy history, there were two songs that won me over. One was At the Bottom of Everything (which I'm sure I'll write about at a later date) and the other was this.

Initially, I was put off by the fact that he was using Beethoven. It just seemed too damn hip for its own good. But the thing with Conor Oberst is that you really have to listen. As someone who fancies himself a writer, my favorite part of music has pretty much always been the lyrics. Plays on words, puns, homages, clever rhymes, etc. This song has most of that. The initial few puns are fun... though the cemetary line took a long time for me to catch on.
But what really sells this song for me is when I finally realized that this is an angry song. I'm a total sucker for the interplay between bitter poetry and joyous (yeah) melody.

Another reason I fell in love with this song is one of the final lines. I had trouble enjoying Bright Eyes mostly because of Conor's vocals. They are rough, tired, and warbly. But this is fucking folk music. He knows that. And to segue into the cacophonous climax of the album by calling attention to it makes me smile.

Favorite Moment: "When you're asked to fight a war that's over nothing, it's best to join the side that's gonna win."

I really need to write again...

I spend my days typing. Mindless, by the numbers typing. You would think that the last thing I would want to do when I get home at the end of the day is type more. Well, that's mostly true. However, I really miss typing things on my own terms. So, on that note, I figured that going back to this old blog might be a good idea.

Now, as for WHAT I will be typing about, I have an idea or two. First, a few years back my family decided that we were going to create individual lists of our top 100 songs of all time. Not surprisingly, that never came to fruition. The problem was that tastes and favorites change constantly. I did, during the time that I thought I would be making the list, start writing about songs I loved. It was fun and surprisingly fulfilling. I think I'll start doing that again. Instead of trying to make a list out of it, however, I'll just start writing about a random song each day. A song I love, a song I hate, a song that I'd just never considered before. I want to try, as often as possible, to put on a song with a decent set of headphones and then write about it. Meaningless in every way except that it will let me write something from my own mind.

I'll start tomorrow. Famous last words, I know. But I just bought this tablet and I surely do enjoy using it. I hope that will be reason enough to keep this up.

I am writing in a blog: I am important.

I think I might start using this. True, I have a livejournal... but I think the time has come and passed for that old thing.

Good morning Dave.

I am just going to come out and say that I do not like 2001. Without a doubt it is a stunningly beautiful film, but that was part of the problem. The shots are just too damn long. I get that Kubrick was essentially showing off how lovely his compositions were, but it slowed the story down so much that I could not even pretend to care anymore.

My first issue is with the entire Ape sequence. Okay, I get the metaphor, chill out and move on already! This sequence was unnecessarily long and ridiculous. I got extremely bored and left the room until the scene finally ended. Also, humans in ape suits just isn't convincing. Ever.

This is yet another example of how time is brutal on a lot of art. In my opinion, 2001 has not aged well. At this point, the story is deeply embedded within pop culture and it has been parodied endlessly. In fact, some of the parodies have been BETTER than the film.

Ah, HAL. Apparently he is gay. Okay then. All I really have to say about that article is, seriously, is it possible to read any more deeply into a film? For that matter, it basically boiled down to seeing whatever you are looking for. For example, the article claims that HAL's voice is androgynous. I disagree. It was always male for me. I never once questioned it. Even now, when I try, I cannot hear the voice as a female. HAL is a man. Not a gay man, either. Just a computer program with an ego complex that happened to be programmed to have the voice of a male human.

For my opinion and input on the topic of egomanical super computers, please see my overly long first post about Colossus. I said absolutely everything there that I would care to say here and now. If I had watched this first, I am sure my thoughts would be deeper and more in depth, but as it is, I feel like I have said all that I want to.

I will say that the special effects here were incredible. People generally credit Star Wars with pioneering the visual effects era, but I really feel like everything looked just as good in this movie as in Star Wars years later. Star Wars simply took the theme and made it even more grand, but not much better.

They sure grow up quickly...

I saw Alien3 when I was about 7. I saw Aliens on October 14th, 2000. Somehow it took a further 7 years for me to get around to watching the original. I must say that I was very pleasantly surprised. I would probably place it as the best film we watched this semester (excluding the Matrix since I had already seen it). The whole atmosphere of the film was absolutely phenomenal. The opening sequence of slowly moving across empty space and then through the dead corridors of the ship was truly brilliant. Right away the tone of the entire film is set.

I have read that Alien was a slowly paced film, but I would have to disagree. I would say that it was perfectly paced. It is slow, but it needs to be. Life IS slow for these people as they are essentially prisoners aboard this lonely old ship. No matter how good a mood they may be in, there always that sense of dread at being aboard this dark, steampunk-esque vessel with nowhere to turn. Unlike Blade Runner, I felt like the darkness worked perfectly.

The Alien itself is truly a classic creature of horror. Within moments of the little bastard tearing its way into the world, it ceases being just another Sci-Fi beast and becomes a nightmarish demon. This is where I really felt like the film succeeded. It was sci-fi with reminding the audience constantly that this is the future and things are totally different. Instead, it tells you upfront that this is the future and leaves it at that. From then on, these are just people like you and me that just happen to be in slightly different circumstances. So when they find themselves in a situation where they are being picked off one by one, I don't question the setting or situation, I just buckle in and go for the ride.

As I don't have the reader with me at this moment, I cannot quote or even remember the name of the article, but I really do want to discuss the whole "femininity" issue at stake. Ripley never felt like a "classical Hollywood woman" to me throughout the film. Perhaps I am too detached from said society, but I did not have any issue with accepting her as a heroic lead. Williams, Clover, and other have written in detail about the place of the woman in the horror film. Clover, for example, has a term called the "final girl." In your typical slasher flick, this is the girl who manager to survive the serial killing due to intelligence and cunning. Clover argues that this turns her into a masculine character and possibly defeats the idea of a female hero all together. In Alien, I don't really feel like Ripley could be placed in this category. I don't see her as a strong-female-type. I see her as a person who has seen a whole lot of shit in her time and has been built into the heroic, strong person that she is. She is a badass who happens to be a woman, not a woman who happens to be a badass.

I must be honest, the final scene of the movie really through this all on its head. In a stroke of true cinematic genius, Ripley becomes a stereotypical woman for all of 10 minutes at the end. When she is in the shuttle prior to discovering the presence of the Alien, she somehow manages to shrug off the ridiculous amount of terrible shit that has happened to her. She starts to strip down and walk around the small space in just a tattered tank-top and her underwear. Her mannerisms all transform into those of a beautiful, half-naked woman. It feels like Scott was going "yeah, she was this fierce, manly badass... but take a look now... she's a sexy, innocent little girl." It really is quite shocking. Weaver really pulls this off. She looks completely comfortable, albeit terribly out of place.

Then, bam, the Alien is back. After my first screening I really wished that the film had ended on the note of Ripley just lounging around without a care in the world. Now, after re-seeing the scene, I feel it was necessary to put her back into her prior role for the closure of the film. It almost transforms from earlier. Now she is a woman who happens to be a badass. Quite a shocking little twist, really.

Quatermass and The Devil Bugs of Doom

I have a strange fascination with the Devil. So, when it was, uh, revealed that "Quatermass and the Pit" was based around the very origins of the devil, I became quite excited. However, I have absolutely no idea what in the hell that movie was actually about. It would be a lie to say that I walked away from it with anything at all. First of all, it doesn't really fit the rest of the semester very well. Every other film has dealt, in some form or another, with artificial life. I guess (and this would be one hell of a stretch) that one could say that humans are the AL in this movie, but come on.

The idea that human life originates from Mars is actually a rather common theory, but the very bizarre path that this film took with it left me disappointed. Honestly, bug armies and random spaceships? That was bad enough, but then you introduce the whole "devil bug is back for vengeance" storyline and everything falls apart. I was pretty excited in the beginning of the film when there were just small hints of ghosts and "simian" life creatures in the shadows. I started to think that the film was going to center around creepy dealing like this one, yet instead it took a completely random path towards absurdity.

A part of me just wants to write the film off as a sign of the overall poor quality of the 70's sci-fi flick, but those notions were completely destroyed earlier this semester with Colossus. That film was still corny and stuck in its popculture moment, but it was also smart. It never talked down to its audience. Quatermass began strong and then degraded into illogical and boring "horror." Why anyone would be terrified by a giant devil bug is beyond me.

Know Thy Self

Even though it become the trendy thing to hate the Matrix in the wake of its two sequels, I am one of the few who stand by it as one of the best film trilogies of all time. Yes, the action is, most of the time, very cool. Yes, it is flashy and new and high tech. These are none of the reason why I love the world of the Matrix. It raises so many of the philosophical and moral questions that I have lost countless hours of sleep on in my own life. It is the only movie that really makes me not only ponder meaning within the diagetic world of the film but my own existence.

Neo is a character who has found himself to be a god. Having spent his entire life with this nagging feeling that something was wrong with the world, it is exciting to finally see everything unravel. What would you do if you discovered you had unlimited power? I believe that the films do a fantastic job of showing a realistic answer to this question. He doesn't let it control his life but instead uses it as a tool. I would love to think that I would be capable of the same compassion if I were to find myself with such power, but, truth be told, I have a suspicion that I would end up doing some rather terrible things along with the good.

So why is the Matrix such a bad thing? Look, Morpheus, I totally get that you don't want to be a slave. That's cool... but the Machines, as far as I could tell, really don't have any intention on destroying you. They NEED you, and, yes, you NEED them. This is a fantastic moral dilemma. Would I rather be living in a dream world where I still get to live my life in any way that I please... or would I rather know the truth about my existence and live with the consequences of that knowledge? Ideally, I'd like to know that I was only living in a dream world but still be allowed to do so. Look, I want to know the truth as much as anyone else, but the real world fucking blows. I don't want electrical sockets all over my body or the inability to eat and enjoy food with taste. As Morpheus so rightly states, real is just electrical impulses interpreted by my brain. Cool. Life in the Matrix sure sounds good to me.

Even if the humans did win this supposed war, what then? Then they seriously have nowhere to go. That will end mankind. The world doesn't look savable. Their best bet is to form a truce with the machines... which, of course, they do at the end of Revolutions. I'm just saying, if I was awoken to that Desert of the Real, I'd be plugged back in about as quick as I could find a jack. I feel bad for the poor saps who were born outside of the Matrix. They don't get to live the full human experience. The machines were KIND enough to grant us that, at least.

One scene that I have spent a lot of time pondering is the infamous lobby shootout. Surely it is an epic and wickedly entertaining piece. but you really have to think about the fact that Neo and Trinity are seriously slaughtering innocent people who are doing their jobs. Yes, I get that every human can also be an Agent and, therefore, must be taken as an enemy... but damn. For some people this ruins the movie because Neo is no longer a justifiable protagonist. I LOVE the film for doing this. I think the film really wants you to question whether or not we should be rooting for the humans. The machines generally don't go around just shooting up random people for no damn reason, now do they?

Well... then again, there is Agent Smith... but what a fantastic character! He is the Negative One... Neo's true foil. Just as Neo is rebelling, so too is Smith. He is the one machine who doesn't see a purpose of the humans. Ah... kinda sounds like we have come full circle to Colossus! Humans dying out and being replaced by machines... Smith has it exactly. Humans are dangerous VIRUSES. Honestly, I sure cannot disagree with his logic. If they could figure out a way to no longer require the human/battery system, I'd totally understand as they systematically unplugged us all.

Okay, I could write a book on the Matrix... but it is late and I am tired.

We're all, essentially, replicants...

I have heard so much about Blade Runner in my life that I ended up putting it on a pedestal in my mind. A few years ago there was this rumor that it was oging to be put back on the big screen. I decided then that I would wait until that moment to finally see the film. When Alex said that he'd be showing it in 142, I figured that that was good enough. After 20 years of waiting, I finally got to see the legendary Blade Runner.

Honestly? I was extremely underwhelmed. I just didn't like it. Perhaps it was the hype I had created... but I don't think so. Conceptually, there is a lot going on and can certainly provide hours of conversation, discussion, and debate... but the film as a piece of entertainment did not work at all. My biggest problem was that there was so little character development. I never once actually found myself caring for Deckard. His plight did not seem interesting or captivating. On top of this, the pacing was so random that before I had enough time to understand one scenario, we were on to another. By the time we find Deckard hanging perilously from atop a high building, I really couldn't have cared less if he had fallen to his death.

I like to discuss the idea of a self-aware android, but I really feel like a broken record at this point. What more can I say on the topic? I think I have made it rather clear that I find absolutely no moral dilemma when it comes to artificial intelligence. What is it to me if we create a separate sentient entity?

However, the idea of creating memories is new to the class and highly interesting. These characters have vivid memories that give them purpose and definition. When it turns out that these are really just scripts put into their minds rather than actual recorded events that played out in their life, it makes you really wonder what the point of memories really is in our daily lives. Without memories, we really cannot know who we are because we do not know where we have been and what we have done. But then, when I really think about it, it occurs to me that it is only the memories that define us, not the actual events. If you remember something one way, that is what guides you, even if that isn't "really" how it happened. So for these androids, they feel a certain way based on the stories they believe to be their own. To me, then, it doesn't really matter at all if they are accurate. If you remember something, then it is real to you. Sure, she never LEARNED to play piano, but she remembers learning and still CAN play, so how is that any less real?

It reminds me of a strange paradox that has occurred so very many times in my short life. I like to embellish the details a little... even when I am just retelling the story in my head. The result of this is that, occasionally, I recreate history. I even remember that I made up details, but I forget which ones and the truth is lost. It bothered me at first, then I realized that however I remember it IS how it happened. The past, after all, doesn't exist. It may have at one time, but here and now is all there really is. And now, however the past is remembered is how it happened. Once something is gone, it can never be found. This angers some people, but I take solace in knowing that the universe has its truth and we, as decaying masses of flesh, have ours.

I'll be Back to the Future

Terminator. You know, I had never actually seen this in its entirety before this last Thursday. I don't know what I expected, but what I saw certainly wasn't it. I enjoyed it a lot, but I must say that I don't think that it holds up very well. This is really one of those cases where the original film relied heavily on special effects so, as time went on, those effects start to fall flat. The film just FEELS like the 80s and I don't think that it will ever escape that. That isn't to say that the story isn't still very cool, but watching it when there are movies like I, Robot or the Matrix which are just far more FUN to watch these days because of their far more polished effects. Sure, in another decade they, too, will fade, but not yet.

Time travel. One of the most popular topics in all of Science Fiction. In my opinion, however, it almost always fails. Time travel, unless taken lightly, is extremely unbelievable. I must say, however, the fact that time travel is only one way in this film makes it much more believable. The biggest problem when it can go either way is that going BACK to the future is ridiculous. Once you change the past, going back to the future is too dangerous as the world will no longer be the same place.

One thing that I did like was that Reese coming back and fathering John Connor really didn't change anything. As he said, he was just preserving it. In both "universes", he clearly acted the same way. I appreciate when time travel doesn't change anything, it is just another means of transportation. It makes me think that there really was never any way that the Terminator could have succeeded. He obviously had to fail simply because he existed at all. It basically amounts to this being a contained loop in time that should always play out the same way. Had it ever NOT done so, then it could never have been to begin with.

See how stupid that whole paragraph sounded? That's why I hate time travel. You CANNOT sound smart discussing it (unless it is with worm holes and bending light and all of that good stuff... but that is completely different!).

Help Me!

For my first catchup post, I would like to discuss my feelings on The Fly. I first saw this movie when I was about 8 years old on a night where I had a "scary movie marathon." Of course, being only 8, my parents didn't actually let me watch very many truly scary movies, but my mom was adamant that I watch The Fly. I never did find it scary, but certainly found it disturbing. Watching it again more than a decade later, my mind found whole new issues with the film.

The first is the whole idea of teleportation. Sure, this is one of the coolest superpowers that any of the X-Men ever had, but that was always explained without science to come in and ruin the fun. Here we actually find a discussion about the movement and re assemblage of atoms and molecules so that the same person or thing comes out on the otherside. I must say, even if scientists were ever able to develop such a thing, there is no chance in HELL that I would get into the thing. My reason is actually the same reason that Invasion freaked me out. I just don't believe that the person who would show up on the other side of the device would be me. To the glance of anyone else it would be... and in a way it would be a perfect remake of me that would act, think, feel, move, be the same as I was. However, I can't help but think that I would actually be dead and gone. My personal consciousness would cease to exist and that is just something that I would not be willing to risk.

Back to the film itself, I find the ending to be a fantastic theoretical question. Posed with the same dilemma of killing the half fly/half-man beast that was screaming from the web, what would you do? Personally, no matter what I did, I know that I would be utterly ruined for life. Should I save the creature, there really isn't anything I could do to help it. The rest of both their bodies was completely destroyed so there is obviously no hope of saving either animal. However, letting it die, or, killing it myself, would prevent me from ever having a good night's sleep again. Did I kill a human? Am I a murdered? Was it the right thing to do? It works well to blur the line between killing humans and animals. Sure a fly might not be entirely sentient, but there is SOME sort of consciousness there...

Fooling Yourself

I have never really been a big fan of horror films. I had a bad experience with The Exorcist when I was a child and I have generally veered away from everything that might ever slightly be in the same genre ever since. However, as I have found myself to be more and more a filmmaker, part of me realized that it was time I go back and figure out exactly what it was that scared me so damn much in the 1973 classic. After watching the film again for the first time in years, I wasn't as scared, but I was endlessly impressed. A film, a collection of photographs matched to a soundtrack, had managed to hit me on some painfully deep psychological level. If a film can move me so powerfully, be it in a positive or negative way, that is special.

Invasion of the Body Snatchers hit me on a similar level as the Exorcist. It didn't frighten me in a physical way, but it did horrify me. As someone who is almost always caught up in his own mind, I have always had an underlying fear of losing myself. I realized that this was why the Exorcist had damaged me so completely. I don't fear death, but the idea of losing control of myself while I am still alive is more frightening than anything else I can imagine. In Invasion, it was the description of how the Pod People were not the people they were trying to be. They lacked some inner light, some ethereal existence, some soul. I used to have dreams about waking up and everyone in my life would no longer be the people as I knew them. This film was a perfect representation of this ancient fear.

I was raised a Christian. I loved the idea of going to heaven and being reunited with everything and anything that I had once known. One day, it dawned on me that I didn't actually believe it. I don't even know if I ever did. I made myself THINK that I believed it because I was so afraid of the alternative, but the real faith was completely lacking. Since embracing my agnosticism, I have found life to be utterly precious. I still HOPE that it isn't true, but I feel it deep within me that this life is all there is. And should this be true, then I have to make the absolute best of the time I have. My thoughts, my body, my mind, my soul are all a single experience, and single moment in time, a one time chance at happiness. Because of this, I have grown fearful of losing any of this precious time. The idea of someone/something else taking over my body or mind and preventing me from, well, being me... that pains me to even imagine.

Another scene that bothered me was the description of what happens when you are taken over. "Every molecule, every atom" is reproduced. Very thoughts and memories are transmitted into the new body. They say it is painless and you wake up happy. This is bullshit. Similar things have been described in various other films and novels, and each time I get very angry at the idea. What is happening here is a NEW person, not at ALL the same person who was copied. To the outside would it may be the equivalent of living forever, but for the individual, it is the same as death. Immortality for the sake of others is a silly concept. Even if I could have a perfect reproduction of myself who really was alive and thought, felt, emoted, cared, believed as I do, it is not ME. My consciousness is not transfered. To my friends and family, there would be no difference at all. We could be switched and no one would ever know. Hell, the new me might not even know it happened as he would likely think that he was the original and had truly experienced everything that I had. But I would be dead. That isn't immortality. If I do not get to live forever, then fuck that.

Bigger. Faster. Stronger.

Robocop. To be completely honest, I never thought I would come across this film in an academic setting. I mean, seriously, it's ROBOCOP. The first time I saw this movie was when I was about seven years old. Even then I remember thinking that it was a bit corny. Now, thirteen years later... well, yeah, it's still a really corny movie.

That being said, it actually seems a lot more poignant in this day and age. Technology is actually starting to get to the point where we can effectively replace lost limbs. Mobility is a bit limited, of course, but more and more breakthroughs are being made in the science of the brain. Hell, just the other day I cam across an article about how they have made an artificial hand that can actually detect the difference between hot and cold. It gives me hope that in my lifetime losing a limb will be only a minor setback.

What interested me most in the film though was the whole idea of bringing someone back to life. In this area the film seemed to stay the most vague. After all, it doesn't make a whole lot of sense considering they never even mentioned anything about reprogramming his brain or anything. It makes me wonder how they transformed his corpse into a super cop. Because if, and this is a big assumption, they used him as a cop because he once was a cop, then it stands to reason that they (being his makers) should have expected more of his past life to show up at some point.

This leads to the whole theme of humanity. The two opposing business ideas in the film consisted of one total robot and one cyborg. The idea seemed to be that ROBOCOP was superior because he was based on human anatomy whereas ED-209 was weak because he was too bulky and poorly programmed. What confused me, however, was that everyone seemed so shocked and upset that ROBOCOP began to show human emotions and traits. I thought that the whole point of making this robot out of a human was precisely so that he would have necessary human traits. Apparently they hadn't taken consciousness into account.

Haraway's "Cyborg Manifesto" was a fun read. Perhaps I was supposed to take it seriously, but in my head I pictured it as being written by a robot who was angry at human society. The idea that we are all cyborgs now due to our increasing dependency on technology seems to have a certain amount of truth behind it, but the way it was written made me laugh because of just how seriously it was taken. Nevertheless, it calls to mind so many of the dystopian futures that sci-fi films like to present. Being a child of the Internet-age, the Matrix is the first film to come to mind. Unlike so many, I am not frightened at all at the thought that we are slowly integrating technology into our very consciousness. After all, who wouldn't want to have a direct uplink to the Internet at all times? I absolutely love the theory of mystic Collective Consciousness, and the Internet is truly bringing that to life in a tangible way.

9-19-2007 -- Thoughts on Colossus and Paley

While re-reading Natural Theology, I found myself rather upset throughout. This came, at first, because of, in general, the fact that Paley, clearly something of an intellectual, really loves the use, or perhaps overuse, of the comma as a way of, a linguist might say, breaking apart, and, maybe, organizing his thoughts. Alright, so he did a far better job of it than I did, but the point remains the same: sometimes it isn't so bad to use simple sentence structure.

Onto my main point, the real reason that I was upset with the argument posed by Paley was that he seemed to make the common flaw of heavily overestimating the human race. This also comes up in the conclusion of Colossus: The Forbin Project, but I will get to that in a moment. Paley's main piece of evidence is the existence of a watch. He argues that just by examining the watch and witnessing the incredible amount of work that was involved to make all of the mechanisms work, it is OBVIOUS that there was a maker, a designer, a contriver involved. And from this, of course, comes to assumption that all of existence must also have a designer. My first issue with this is that Paley's idea that it is so obvious that a watch must have had a designer. Of course we as humans would think this way considering that one of OUR kind was the designer.

My other problem is the primary reason that I am writing this and is also my biggest issue with the "theory" of intelligent design in general. Claiming that everything MUST have been designed exactly as we see it simply because we can also create things is the argument of an egomaniac. It blows my mind that so many people can't wrap their heads around the idea that nature is really as amazing and mind-blowing as it appears. Saying that God made everything to work as it does is to essentially remove the majesty of the universe.

I could continue, but I realize that at some point I would just be arguing against young-earth creationists and religious folks, and that really isn't the purpose of this class nor really anything to do at all with Paley's writing. Instead of going on an anti-religous tangent, I'll just move on to Colossus and save myself the anxiety.

So, at the end of Colossus: The Forbin Project, humanity is left in the hands of the all-powerful computer system Colossus. Of course we are supposed to believe that this is a horrible fate for humanity, but I just don't see it that way. There is a famous quote that says something to the effect of "The best government is the rule of a good dictator." I take a lot of heat for agreeing with this, but I just can't help it. My everyday experiences have taught me that the majority of humans are stupid. I really do not think that we are fit to govern ourselves. If there was a person who came about who knew how to fix all of our problems, I would gladly hand him control over us. Of course no one this capable actually exists, so I must remind everyone that this is completely theoretical and not something I ever expect to see happen.

However, Colossus seems to fit the bill rather well. From what I can tell, he (it?) has no intention of destroying mankind. He will stop war, stop hunger, and increase knowledge ten fold. Okay, so we lose our "freedom," but it isn't like freedom really exists anyways. I doubt that Colossus is going to worry much over censorship and the day to day activities of mankind. After all, he is supposed to be more rational than we could ever imagine, so he would know what does and does not actually pose a threat to himself and others. I would even go so far as to say that he wouldn't give a damn about people writing songs and movies about destroying him. It's entertainment, and Colossus clearly has enough power not to worry about a bunch of excited movie-goers leading the revolution. Anyways, I think most people would actually be quite content under his rule.

This leads me to the concept of machines eventually replacing humans as the dominant "species" on the planet. Why is this so frightening? Again I find myself calling human egomaniacs for thinking that our species means a Goddamn thing. There were trillions of species before us and it stands to reason that there will be plenty of them after we have gone. If we were to create a race of machines that was sentient and decided to destroy us, well, that's our own fault. And regardless, we would have destroyed ourselves eventually anyhow. If the machines live on, clearly they were superior and have every right to outlast us.

I cannot argue with Colossus's rationale behind controlling us. Look at history for ten seconds. We are blood-thirsty, poorly organized heathens. We have the gift of reason and logic, but they are almost always complety ignored when it really matters. I think that, if anything, we have proved to the earth that we failed. We were the first to develop sentience as a way of surviving and evolving, yet all we do is destroy that which we are given.

Yeah, we made watches... but if one was defective, we'd throw it out. If there is a God, perhaps he should be heading back to the drawing board.

That got awful pessimistic didn't it?